birth and memories

I have always enjoyed writing. Throughout my school years, my birthday very often fell on the same day as the final writing exam. I guess not everyone would have been pleased with this pattern but I didn’t mind. I enjoyed it, for the most part, and enjoyed the feeling that came with the end of the school year, the air finally warming up, the upcoming weeks of freedom. I didn’t mind writing assignments for school, and then, once I entered university, I truly enjoyed writing papers and developing my ideas and my grasp on the language – whether it be in english of french. Over the past four years, as I have been working for a neighborhood community organisation, I have appreciated learning how to shape language to reach people of different walks of life.

I had never written on a regular basis on my own terms, but in the past few months, writing has been an amazing outlet to express my conflicted feelings. Through this blog and different forums, I have allowed myself the space to reflect on my life as Paul’s mother, on his life, on what to make of these months of learning how to live without him. I have also been in contact with a few persons I have “met” through their blogs. These few epistolary relationships have been so precious. The level of connection that can form across people who share significant experiences is truly amazing and leads to beautiful conversations. Lire la suite

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histoire de naissance(s)

In psychotherapy, a narrative is a story we tell ourselves. Every time we tell a story, according to Narrative Therapy, our stories then change, because we change the story by just telling it. In doing this, we allow our brain to file away different parts of the story; parts that are hard or parts that are traumatic. Through this process we learn how to come to terms with the loss and the trauma, by slowly accepting the reality of our current situation.

— Lindsey Henke. « Why Your Birth Story Matters ». Still Standing Magazine.

Depuis quelques semaines, j’écris beaucoup sur moi-même. J’écris à Paul, je pense à lui énormément, mais j’ai de la difficulté à écrire sur lui. La relation que nous avons eu a été intense et fusionnelle mais nous n’avons vécu que les premiers balbutiements de la découverte mutuelle. Connait-on vraiment un si petit bébé? Dans les débuts de la relation avec un enfant, j’ai l’impression qu’on se rencontre beaucoup soi-même. À tout le moins, je peux affirmer que je me suis sentie intensément face à moi-même dans l’arrivée au monde de Paul. Lire la suite