quelques textes chez Françoise Stéréo

Un nouveau numéro du magasine Françoise Stéréo était lancé hier. Il regroupe plus de vingt textes autour « du temps comme thème rassembleur, au centre d’une constellation de multiples éléments, de tranches de vie et de considérations théoriques : la famille, la gentrification, les générations, Kant, les pots Mason, la radio, le capitalisme, Harmonium, l’âge, le vieillissement, les vidanges, sky is the limit. » (vous pouvez lire le reste de l’éditorial de Laurence ici).

J’y signe un texte sur le deuil et le passage du temps, tout à fait dans la lignée de ce que je publie généralement ici.

Je n’ai pas encore eu le temps de parcourir l’ensemble des textes mais je souligne déjà ceux-ci, sur des thèmes rejoignant de près ou de loin les enjeux qui m’intéressent sur ce blogue:

  • On est rendu là, par Marie-Ève Duchesne (sur la fin de vie et les adieux)

  • Les garde-robes pleins, par Claudia Beaulieu (sur les choses qui nous restent des personnes qui s’en vont)
  • Je t’attends , par Marie-Michèle Rheault (sur le désir d’enfant, l’attente, l’impatience)

Voilà, bonne lecture!
Et n’hésitez pas à parcourir les riches archives de la revue.

écrire

J’écris beaucoup ces jours-ci. Je n’écris pas grand chose ici mais j’empile les paragraphes, extraits d’entrevues après extraits d’entrevues, à partir desquelles je tente de bâtir quelque chose. Les paroles qui me parlent, tressées avec les mots d’auteur.e.s qui m’inspirent (ou à qui j’emprunte un vernis d’autorité intellectuelle!) et mes idées, aussi. J’écris ça. Ce qui devrait éventuellement devenir un mémoire, une fois que tous les morceaux collectionnés seront collés bout à bout, dans un semblant de cohérence.

Et puis j’écris dans ma tête. Des bouts de phrases qui commencent. Des anecdotes que je mets de côté, en me disant que je vais les noter. En faire un billet peut-être. Mais les jours et les mois sont courts. Les heures passent trop vite.

Dans ma tête s’accumulent ces morceaux de mes journées.

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reading notes – memory

As i was reading on qualitative research methods, i came across a talk by feminist scholar Cynthia Cockburn. These ideas seem interesting to consider for my research but more so, they spoke to me about what i have been doing (exploring might be more accurate) here…

It’s common ground among memory researchers that a given memory shouldn’t be taken as “truth” but rather as evidence, to be interrogated, mined for its meanings and its possibilities. A memory should be seen as something to be critically interpreted in terms of both form and content. Both individual and collective memories of given events and moments change with the passage of time. Memory studies aren’t just concerned with the past. The crucial thing is they’re about the relationship between past and the present.

and later:

And as to the photographs… They may seem like representations of historical events and moments that may be understood at a glance – but photos are tricky things. They’re not transparent in this way. […] A photograph is contradictory because on the one hand it has a secure indexicality, it can be traced back to an actual time and place. But perversely, its meaning actually changes as time passes.

(Source : « Using photography in connection with social research », http://www.cynthiacockburn.org/BlogPhotographyinResearch.pdf)

Guest post : Living the Paradox of Life After Loss

English below

L’année dernière, à un moment particulièrement difficile de mon deuil, alors que la réalité de la mort de Paul me pesait de tout son poids, au sortir des premières semaines passées dans un brouillard qui avait adouci un peu le choc de son départ, j’ai entendu parler du projet de livre d’Emily Long, Invisible Mothers.

Emily souhaitait parler à des mamans n’ayant pas d’enfant vivant. Et moi, j’avais besoin de parler, de dire l’histoire de Paul et la mienne. Je suis heureuse d’avoir pu apporter une toute petite pierre à la construction de son livre, et je suis honorée de partager aujourd’hui un magnifique texte d’Emily, à la veille du lancement de son livre.

—–

Last year, at a particularly difficult time in my mourning process, while the reality of Paul’s death really hit me after the foggy first weeks, I heard about the Emily Long’s book, Invisible Mothers.

At the time, Emily wanted to talk to mothers who had no living children. And I needed to talk, i needed to tell Paul’s story — and mine, as i was just coming to terms with his absence. I am happy to have been able to bring a small stone to the construction of her book, and I am honored to share a beautiful piece written by Emily, who will be launching her book tomorrow.

—–

When my first daughter died, everything changed.

How I looked at life.
My level of trust in the goodness of life.
What it meant to be alive.
How I loved.
How I saw the world.
What I thought about myself and who I was.
My sense of security in the world.

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reading notes

A few chosen words from Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, a memoir written after the sudden death of her husband and while her daughter is facing some serious health issues.

I’m here. You’re going to be all right.
[…]
I’m here. Everything’s fine.

[…]
It occurred to me during those weeks that this had been, since the day we brought her home from St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, my basic promise to her. I would not leave. I would take care of her. She would be all right. It also occurred to me that this was a promise I could not keep. I could not always take care of her. I could not never leave her. She was no longer a child. She was an adult. Things happen in life that mothers could not prevent or fix. (p. 96-97)

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capture your grief 5/6

day 5 – journal

1000days_Collage

While i was expecting Paul, i looked for a book to collect our memories of him. I imagined we would create so many of them, for so long, as we learned to live with a baby, as we discovered him/her, as we went on adventures together… I didn’t like most of the baby album available, often intensely gendered and to intricate in their design for my taste.

Despite my initial good intentions, I had not kept a regular journal during my pregnancy – perhaps because I didn’t enjoy myself that much and wouldn’t have wanted my child to read about my petty complaints. But I was determined to chronicle my baby’s first year, or, as the journal I finally found suggested, his First 1000  days.

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